Got My Mama Mojo Back

If you read my last blog entry you know that I had the 'Bad Mama Blues' last week.

After trying for a month to get my 15mo old son to gain weight, feeding him 4 full meals a day, 3 snacks and 2-4 bottles he only gained 1 OUNCE. I was so upset to learn this and I felt like a failure.

I feed my family very clean, healthy and mostly organic foods. We don't have dairy in our home, except for the odd bit of chocolate. My passion for health and nutrition are evident in my kitchen.

When I was told by the Pediatrician's Physician's Assistant to give my son full fat milk, yogurt, chicken nuggets and cheese I almost pooped my panties. I consider these things to be poison.

I also know the importance of my son gaining weight and the importance of making sure he gets enough protein and fat in his diet. So I was torn between conflicting desires. One, to feed my family healthful and environmentally conscious foods and, two, to make sure my son grows at a healthy rate.

I cried in the Dr's office, I cried in the car on the way to the grocery store after the appointment and I cried in the grocery store.

I panicked at the store and bought the foods I grew up on - Spam and Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup, thinking they'd put some protein and fat in him. I cried harder.

When my rational brain started to attempt to kick back in I bought organic chicken nuggets, organic fish sticks, Organic yogurt, Kefir (at one of the PA's suggestion), coconut oil and almond butter.

I came home and had my melt down right here on my blog.

Thanks to those of you who know me well and reached out to me on facebook to remind me WHO I am, WHAT I believe in and WHAT I stand for. You helped me to get my feet back under myself and come to my senses. Your loving reminders were amazing.

I remembered that I know better than to fill my son with chemical filled, processed foods. I know that they can cause a lifetime of problems greater than being a little skinny.

So here is the current game plan:
We are still offering Finn everything that we eat. Some of it he eats, some of it he hates and some of it he just chews up and spits out at us (which is so cute!). We are still giving him baby food because he loves it and he will eat a lot of it. We are still giving him bottles to get extra calories in him.

What we have started doing:
Mashing up avocado and sneaking it in baby food to get more healthy fats in him.
Adding a little coconut oil to one bottle a day for healthy fat.
He eats Almond butter sandwiches for protein and fat.
He drinks Kefir for protein (and loves it).
He eats organic yogurt for fat and protein.

Adding dairy was difficult for me, but we're going to give it a try and see how it goes this month. But definitely sticking with organic.

My friends reminded me that I DO know how to add protein and fat in my child's diet without adding crap and chemicals. They reminded me of who I am and that I am a great Mummy. I am so thankful to each and every one of you who helped me to remember these things.

Going to keep feeding this kid and see if we can't get his weight up this month.

Being a mama is a difficult, trying, challenging, lonely, guilt-ridden, AMAZING, LOVING, REWARDING, GLORIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, and EMOTIONAL journey. So thankful for social media for helping me stay connected, giving me an outlet and allowing me to communicate with other mamas and friends.

And, as for the organic chicken nuggets and fish sticks... I ate 'em (insert any number of choice words here and notice that I can NOT have crap food in my home or I will eat it, all of it.).